It's been a while since I posted my last blog, almost five months in fact.
I've let go of being a "Grey Nomad". It was fun, challenging, definitely worth doing, but in May the time had come to move on. It was time to begin my next stage of being.
I was missing a base, my own home, and I finally accepted that I was missing the land.
I'd turned 70, and, for the first time in my life, was actually contemplating my own demise, wondering what the experience of leaving my body would be like.
I still feel timeless. I know when I die physically, it will only be my body that changes and will turn to ash. The essence that is me is not a physical reality, though, for the moment, I express myself in a physical milieu (more of this in my next blog).
So wondering if I was mad, I found myself drawn to two small acres in the country, a place called "Always".
For some time I had known that somewhere in the time between February, 2013 to April 2014, I'd find the place where I would spend the rest of my life.
I'd expected it would be in a village like Leura. This was where I was looking. I was being sensible, acknowledging my age, and my "Grey Nomad" period had made me appreciate everything I'd had living in Leura for the last twelve or so years.
But I couldn't escape a feeling, deep in my heart, that I wanted to have Orlando, my horse, come and live with me again.
I checked out a nearby area, very similar in climate to Leura, where I could have a few manageable acres; where I could be with Orlando.
No matter what I googled, "Always" kept turning up.
It kept saying: "Come and see me."
My head kept hearing a voice saying:
"You're too old to do the work even on a small 2 acre property."
My heart kept saying,
"You are meant to be here."
Finally I gave into my impulse to go and see "Always".
It had a stable and paddock for Orlando.
The house was the perfect size ... double brick. It was warm in winter and cool in summer.
The house was the perfect size ... double brick. It was warm in winter and cool in summer.
But most important, it had beautiful energy, and I felt her from the moment I stepped onto her land.
What decided me once and for all was the fact that "Always" had a conservatory; something I have always dreamed about having in my home. A warm, sunny, peaceful place where I could curl up with a book.
So I battled the mind/heart from 29th May and made an offer for "Always".
Contracts were exchanged on the 11th June.
At 55, I sold Killibinbin where I'd farmed, taught horse riding, bred and broken in horses, and run a farm holiday retreat for twenty eight years.
I did not want to sell Orlando, my straight Egyptian stallion that I'd imported from Germany.
This meant that he would spend the rest of his life at different, carefully selected studs covering purebreds, straight Egyptians, part bred and unregistered mares. I always knew if he was all right or not, as he'd come to me in dreams. I always knew if it was time for him to move.
The separation from my horse was very painful for me, particularly having to entrust Orlando to others. I always dreamed that one day we would be together again.
One stud where he was particularly happy was Ralvon. Whilst at Ralvon with Ron and Val Males he also had many successful competition years, trained by Ron under saddle and broken to harness. He also served more than 60 mares during this time.
These two photos are a purebred son and partbred warmblood daughter, and below right, is a copy of an email sent to Val Males from a satisfied breeder.
Hello Val and Ron,
Thought you might like to see my stunning mare - she is doing hunter classes
with my niece on board - wouldn't mind breeding another one however Orlando isn't here anymore is he?
Without a doubt, he was much appreciated and nurtured during the time he was with Ron and Val at Ralvon.
Whilst here Orlando and Ron won Reserve Australian Champion in both harness and stock horse classes and Australia Champion Endurance Horse.
He was a registered endurance horse and had a heart rate of 44.
I shall always be grateful to Ron and Val for the effort and time they gave to Orlando.
One of the outstanding things about Orlando was his temperament. He was a horse who gave his all no matter how he was challenged. He was gentle and beautiful with people, with his mares and with other male horses, geldings and entires.
Mostly he ran free with his mares, but was easy to manage in hand service and efficient at mounting a dummy for semen collection. He passed his wonderful temperament on to all his progeny together with many other attributes such as superb hindquarter, long, elegant neck and overall soundness and type.
Then in 2012, just before I went overseas, he came to me in a dream and said:
"I'm caught up, and I can't get to Egypt."
I knew something was wrong, so rang the stud where he was to learn he'd had an accident in the paddock with two straight Egyptian mares. He had become caught in a fence whilst serving.
The injuries were severe and there were complications.
He was moved to an Equine Specialist, Ross Pedrana, in Dubbo.
We were never sure if we could save him, but he never gave up fighting to live. Consequently, we never gave up either. He battled his almost impossible injuries for more than twelve months. A lot of my "Grey Nomad" days had been spent out at Dubbo being with him.
Ross was doing an amazing job. He and his wife Gill were wonderfully supportive during that time.
We thought we were winning. Now it seemed possible. I began to believe that once he was healed enough to leave Ross's place, he could retire with me, and we could grow old together.
The contracts for "Always" were signed on the 11th June. There was no turning back.
Orlando died on the 13th June after a sudden and unexpected complication.
Looking back, I think he stayed with me until finally I did what I was meant to do.
Did I regret buying "Always"? No. Did I cry? I'm still crying.
I moved into "Always" on the 2nd of July.
The day I moved in I saw him, in my mind's eye, standing at the fence of his paddock calling me ... there are moments that stretch beyond the temporary physical world.
When I started writing this post, I had no idea what I would write. There is relief now.
As I've written, I've thought, as I often do these days, how important it is to stop and hear the music of life ... to appreciate how wonderful it is.
In conclusion, this twigged my memory to an email from Colleen Khoury,
who bred my black pug, Gloria Greasemonkey.
It had a link to a Youtube video. Most appropriate to this post.
The following article tells the full story:-
Pearls Before Breakfast - washingtonpost.com
I am so happy here at "Always". Gloria and Monk love it.
Travelling is great, but having roots again is so good.
I haven't posted on my blog for so long, because I have been busy getting re-organised; re-thinking how I'll live the rest of my life, and working through what I'll write next.
I think I'll finish the 2nd book of Downloading Spirit. There's only a few chapters to go.
But more and more Orlando is calling me to finish writing a book I started a long time ago. It's about me and my life with my horses, about Horseriding and Spirituality.
Stayed tuned as this progresses.
I expect to be blogging again quite regularly.
Until next time ...
