So often in life we realise we have to let go of what has been so that we might become ...
For the last 3 years my life has been in a spin.
A vortex of finalisation of a project, and the preparation for the next stage.
A vortex of letting go that which is not important to my life, of freeing whatever needs to be freed and even that which doesn't wish to be freed, whether it be yourself, or whatever.
It has been a time of living in "the eye of the storm".
In this place we begin to understand that:
At each stage in our growth, before we reach the moment of belief and commitment,
we have to journey through our stormy emotional and mental processing.
That is a personal journey.
Only one person can do this ... yourself.
This doesn't stop, whatever age you reach.
Many young people think that once you reach a certain age, or stage, you've made it.
That's when they usually start asking ... "What's it all about?"
That's when it's time to discover ...
I've gone through some of those stages.
Last week I talked a little of this in the blog I called Milestones.
I have found that my last two decades of life have encompassed
the most consciously aware growing I have ever experienced.
I find as your awareness and consciousness of this growing increases, so does your pain.
For you see the things you've done well ... not so well ... and ...
you realise that the "not so wells", are you greatest teachers.
So often we have to thank most what we like least about ourselves.
I learn most when I am least successful.
That hurts because I seriously need to do the very best I can.
Each time my ego, my Self, is confronted ... never destroyed ... but expanded to my Soul level.
This journey is still evolving, and will continue for some time yet.
For the last eighteen months or so, I have been distracted from my purpose,
to undertake journeys,
both internal and external, to prepare me for my next stage.
It has been a time of travel and change enabling me to resolve and clarify many issues from the past with people, family, my animals, particularly with my horses, my teachers.
This has been necessary to establish boundaries, to learn to say "No", and yet, ironically,
enable a greater merging with all that is.
To begin to understand even more the extraordinary will to live and love.
This next stage involves many decisions.
The moment of these decisions is at hand ... and what a relief.
This space I have been inhabiting is not an easy place to be.
Now I can get on with living, and embarking on the final stages of my life's journey,
of fulfilling my purpose.
I just needed to understand (yet again) what I was living for.
So often we do not understand until we come close to the final stages -
and every stage brings such a moment.
It is the moments in between the knowing that are so painful.
How often do we think life is too painful. How often do we wish it would release us.
Yet we forget we never die.
We need to remember we are here to live our life to the full ... and ... enjoy it.
Yes, we are meant to enjoy life.
Myself, I wish finish this life incorporating and fulfilling all that I have learned.
May I pass on these things to anyone who will gain benefit from my experiences.
I gives thanks for my life, and do everything I can to conclude it so that its reason for being is fulfilled.
I have no idea how much time is left ... but I shall live it with less fear, greater joy, and dedication to fulfilling my own truth, and walking my talk, than ever before.
When I was 50, I leapt off the 33rd floor consciously knowing what I was doing.
Actually, I did this the day I was born ... just like this young chick when it was time to fly ...
but did I know ... or did I have to go through my life to reach the point where I could remember?
OMG - here I go again.
I love it.
I love life.
We do live forever - we're just beginning to understand this in this life.
We just don't stay in this form.
We are the shape shifters of being
and ONE with ALL that is.
